Forget the Iron Man 3 trailer the best movie of the summer is The Cloud Atlas. It begins with Tom Hanks as a wild thing in post apocalyptic world that was destroyed when the space hyperlink went bust. He is plagued by visions of the devil – old george – who tells him he is falling for the “dark meat” played by Halle Berry, who is a future sapient left over but dying from the radiation. Their quest is to go to the mountain top and send a message for rescue from the world.

Tom Hanks is plagued by cannibals played by Hugh Grant who looks smashing. Then it switches to the story of a poofer gay boy who is trying to compose music while helping out an old composer. The gay boy writes letters which get into the hands of the nuclear scientist who is the grown up gay lover and they are taken by halley berry now a 70s reporter about to expose a bad nuclear plant. The evil guy who hunts her is the same Old george who haunts tom hanks.

Old George played by Hugo Weaving but I thought it was Sam Neill at first

Back in the 1700s we have a lawyer who visits a slave farm and contracts “the worm”. He then helps a slave hiding in his cabin. Tom Hanks plays a evil doctor secretly poisoning the lawyer while pretending to treat him for “the worm” only to get his gold. He writes a journal which gets torn in half and half of it is missing because its proping up the bed of the old composer that foofer gay boy is helping. It’s odd to see Tom Hanks playing the evil character. It seems like it would have made more sense if all his characters were neutral like the first primitive one. Which is so much like castaway one wonders if Hanks can act at all.

In the future the fast food chains are staffed by uber sexy asian chicks who eat their own “milk” which is the ground up bodies when they get too old. They also make the hot chicks into the food they serve. Regular folk who drink the milk get high and then wake up the clones to fuck them. A rebel helps SoonMi to escape to end the horror of human slavery as clones. This guy is the reincarnation of the guy who freed the slave.

Meanwhile Tom Hanks falls for the dark meat especially after his tribe is wiped out and boffs Halley Berry. She takes him to their future fusion yacht where the skipper is a black man just as SoonMi’s Union rebel leader is also a black man. Apparently in the future the blacks are the leaders in some planet of the apes macabre horror film.

Meanwhile SoonMi and the rebel fuck showing what a gorgeous piece of ass and how flexible soonMi is and how whites fucking asians seems ok but the thought of tom hanks fucking Halley Barry makes us want to puke. Now there is a genetic reason for this, whites and asians split off only about 200,000 years ago, but whites and asians split off from blacks over two million years ago and are different species.

Finally Tom Hanks is old and a grandfather of many many mixed race children. I mean seriously is this a horror movie or what!

Personally if I could have lived any of the lives I would have lived during SoonMi’s time and had a house with at least Ten of her clones. Because she is just that freakin hot.

Oh the film has a message which multiple characters say over and over “The weak are just MEAT for the Strong To EAT” personally I didn’t find that uplifting. In the case of the chinese clones, they take it literally.

SoonMi’s religion becomes big, and in Tom Hanks future time there is an amulet of her which susan sarandon uses to shake demons away and also at the Hyperwarp station there is a giant statue of SoonMi. Which is just more credence to the fact that SoonMi was really really hot.

The scary actor who plays old george plays the transvestite looking nurse in the old folks part of the story. five old geezers make a jail break from a nursing home. Which happens in 2012. Its odd that Lana Wachovski herself a transsexual would want to show suck a hideous transvestite nurse character.

Ok none of this is what the movie is ABOUT because the real story of the movie is about a venereal disease called “The Worm” which is picked up by contact with blacks. People who get the disease get genetically altered and pass it onto their descendents. The following chart illustrates the coupling and unions which happen to spread the disease. The cloned SoonMi does NOT have the disease so she is the pure God character.

The creepy old scientist laments in the 1970s that Halley Barrey’s character has “The Worm” mark just like his old gay boy lover. In the future Halley Barry’s character has skin falling off and the worm has gotten so big it sticks out under the skin in her head. Finally in the distant future we see the back of Tom Hanks now bald head, and he too bears “the worm”. So the whole movie is about the dangers of fornication with blacks. In an ironic twist, Old George was RIGHT about the dangers of dark meat.

The whole 3 hour horror is worth it just to watch SoonMi’s great ass at 1:58 and fast forward to that on Neflix if you have it. The message of cloud Atlas? Race Mixing sucks unless it’s with an asian. Then it’s ok. Another movie like the bond flick Die Another Day ruined by casting Halley Barry and the scene of Pierce Brosnana kissing her making us all puke thankfully we are spared the intimate details and only shown babies in this one. Did you notice that Halley Barry has the same accent in that movie as she does in this one? Coincidence I dont think so.

In the end we come to see that “the worm” was a mark that this generation would be the ones that go to the stars and the symbol is like a shooting star. But now infected with negroid blood the genius of the human race dies forever. We never see the saviors who get them off the planet we can only hope they were white people.

Hopefully someone will edit out all the other timelines except for the SoonMi one and make a great 30 minute movie out of it, and splice in another 40 minutes of hot fucking. Now that would be a great film. The best part of the movie is the publisher in 2012 saying that books which use flashbacks are piles of shit which is no doubt the best statement of the movie within a movie ever.