Charlie Sheen spouted off a reply to Phil Robertson’s gay comments:

hey Mallard brained
Phil Robertso!
you have offended and hurt so many dear friends of mine,
who DO NOT have the voice or the outreach that I do.
well news flash
I will speak loudly and clearly for ALL of them.
your statements were and are
abhorrently and
mendaciously unforgivable.
the only thing you should ever be in charge of building is a hole in the ground the exact size of your head.
perhaps your beard would fit as well if you plucked out the
army of scabies and
bull weevils sequestered deep in it’s sarcophagus of dander and weasel pelts.
on the eight day
when I was whittling my cosmic banjo,
I’m pretty sure YOU were the scattered dross I then used to light a fire and
locate the nearest
Andy Gump.

We here at collapsereport have our own poem for Duck dynasties Phil Robertson:

A stinky Butt
Will Never Do
When a sweet Vaginer is Near
But for the unLucky Few
Who Beg and Plead
And still End up quite queer
A bung hole is the fun hole
The – Lets take it out for a run Hole
That brings the christmas Cheer