Sam was a good cardiologist. His work was always in demand due to the american diet and the high number of heart patients. Finally he decided to go on vacation for two weeks. When he returned he was shocked that his hospital had decided to treat all doctors as if they were software engineers to save money. The changes were obvious.

The first change he noticed was that his twenty member cardiology department had all been replaced by nurses. He was the only doctor left. The nurses came from India and even though you are supposed to have a four year degree to be a RN these nurses just lied. They also cheated on the tests. Most came with long resumes of experience they obviously didn’t have and patients all around were dying from their total incompetence.

“Don’t Worry” said the hospital administrator, “weve saved a lot of money already”

Sam was surprised that he no longer saw patients but was even more surprised that now nurses did all the complex cardiac surgeries. He noticed the nurses crammed from textbooks the hour just before the surgery to learn how to do it. “I’m a fresher for sure I must cram the knowledge into my punjabi brain”. He didn’t really understand what the nurse said because of his pig like accent.

The administrator came up to him. “This is your new assistant Jangdesh. You have two weeks to train him. You are being replaced” Sam was shocked because Jangdeshi had no medical experience whatsoever. How could he transfer 20 years of intuititve skills in a week? How to sew the stitches so they looked neat, how to gently reassure patients. “No your heart has to come out with a big knife” screamed Jangdesh at one patient. The time passed quickly and Sam was now unemployed.

No problem, I’m a doctor. Not just any doctor the best of the best doctors, Harvard educated, I can find work. But to his surprise no one was interested. He saw in the news that the US had a program to import 600,000 “nurses” each and every year. He looked at a job ad for a cardiologist but now the language seemed foreign and odd. “Doctor wanted. Cardiology. Must have 10 years experience working on left handed midgets from siberia. Must also be able to transmute lead to gold while simultaneously performing a quintuple bypass and must have 20 years experience using heart tongs forged by the norwegien family of Gurt. 30 years experience in neoplasties from dutch martians who also have three arms.”

This job add doesn’t even make sense! he screamed to his doctor friend who was also out of work. “Oh that’s because the Indians have also taken over all the placement agencies and with their inflated resumes which are all lies they just put a ton of ridiculous things together. Oh and they only hire other Indians so don’t even bother”

I wont thought dr Sam, I’ll go into business for myself. But the Indian lobby had convinced congress to pass a law making it illegal to work for himself he could only work for big corporations. “this is insane what do you mean I can’t work for myself I’m an American for gods sake” “Sorry, that’s America, you must find an agency”

So sam began to interview with the Indians for jobs which he was hopelessly overqualified for thinking surely they MUST hire me for these junior jobs. “I’m sorry but you only have experience with left aortas we need right aorta experience” “Theres no such thing as right aortas” “you sound like a difficult candidate. And I don’t see blood on your resume you’ve never worked with blood you aren’t qualified we require 20 years of experience with blood” “But my resume says eurethrocyte analysis five times” “What’s that we need blood experience you aren’t qualified goodbye”

Other interviews were worse. One job was for someone who had spent 20 years on little pinky toenails. “I’ve repaired the entire foot many times over” said Dr. Sam. “No we need just toenails you don’t have specific experience” What had happened is the Indians being so dumb could only learn one tiny thing at a time. So the jobs soon came to reflect that. Long gone was the art of being a doctor, the ability to understand the concepts behind medicine and healing. It was all reduced to a simple formulae, performed badly, or thrown away. Patients began to leave hospitals cripples or dead but no one cared. The entire passion and art of doctoring had been thrown away.

Sam caught a lucky break as an assistant doctor in a new medical wing. when he got there everyone was indian. They all sat around doing no work and when patients were brought in they quickly scanned a text book before killing a patient. He couldn’t understand them very well because they spoke gibberish english which made him not a team player and a complainer when he saw how horrible they were. Two patients had open heart surgery with no anesthesia and instead they simply duct taped the patient to the bed to get through the surgery. “Why didn’t you call the anesthesiologist?” asked Sam. “Oh gubradatta? Hes killed every patient this week. I have to use the tools I have right here Sam! Don’t be so difficult!” Occasionally sam saw that one Indian who was a bit better than the others covering for their ignorance in exchange for a cut of their salary. Worse, everyone had established a network of scams and kickbacks all the way back to Indian recruiters. The adds read “Become a doctor in America in just two weeks, earn millions every year”

Sam had had enough so he fled to Sweden. but there he found he could not get work. He was too expensive. “But I still have to pay half my salary to America no matter where I work in the world, I can’t live on less than that.” He couldn’t compete with the low wages that the Indians offered who worked as tax cheats secretly funneling money back home where no one could tax it.

After three years without being able to get any kind of job Sam found himself destitute unable to even keep the heat on. He died from exposure in his foreclosed house.