The narrow North Carolina congressional race was a dead heat about to go into overtime. But suddenly Clay Aitken’s opponent keeled over and died of a “heart attack”. “Don’t Mess with the Aitken” was all one news correspondent said.

It was the same all the way through his career. That number two pop diva who suddenly got laryngitis just before the Aitken came on stage? The dancing with the stars mishap and twisted ankle? And even the sweetheart record deal, once refused by industry executive powerhouse who is now no more. Yes Clay certainly has led a charmed life.

Already in congress the murmors are flying. “what if “the Aitken” doesn’t play ball?” asked one senior staffer. “I wouldn’t cross him” said another. It’s true, Clay Aitken will be going to congress not as a mild mannered singer who just happens to be gay, but instead as Hillary part Deux, someone who if you mess with them, there will be consequences, consequences.

“I’m not scared of some nellie singin boy” screamed John McCain “after four years in Nam I’m not frightened by a boy!”

Don’t be so sure. In the congressional cloakroom the congressmen are showing their true colors discussing the weird misshap of Aitken’s opponent. “He was healthy and jogging on wednesday, thursday they were putting him in the ground” “I hear Aitken has eyes everywhere” said another.

There’s a new law headed to Washington, and don’t be too sure it’s just another pop star turned power broker wanna be. No “the Aitken” has juice in spades and it’s only a matter of time before he’s running the place.