Ladies and Gentlemen, thank you thank you. Yes it’s been an amazing eight years, from legalizing the 40 million illegal Mexicans to allowing illegal aliens to vote without ID, to giving 40,000 machine guns to drug lords, or to shipping in tons of heroin from Afghanistan, our administration has fought hard to destabilize and destroy our country. At many times our policy of forever war and outrageous spending has not made much sense. Heck we gave a 500,000 MRAP death machine to a tiny town in Vermont where they use it to hunt Beaver. So one has to ask what the heck has been going on. Well finally I’m here to explain.


You see, every year we’ve plunged the nation 2 trillion dollars further in debt. When that didn’t do enough, we sent trillions overseas to european banks and bailed out our own at a cost of 24 trillion. Our spending was so severe that China was able to amass a huge portion of our debt. First 2 trillion and now a whopping six trillion of our debt is held by mainland China. But they aren’t happy with Zero percent interest rates they are demanding six percent. And now that interest rates are rising the interest on our 20 trillion dollar debt is five trillion dollars a year. Our tax revenue is only two trillion dollars a year. That means that every year we are three trillion dollars more in debt with having nothing to spend on our bloated government. By the time we run our bills our we hare six trillion in debt every year. In five more years we will be ten trillion in debt every year. Our debt will effectively double our money supply every year resulting in 100% inflation.


We knew this would happen so instead we have worked with China and come up with a deal. In exchange for ten trillion in debt, China will be taking over the management of Washington, Oregon, and California states. All people there will have to vacate a and leave to more eastern states. We will be paying all of you 50 cents on the dollar for your property there so don’t fret you will be able to make a new start in states like New York and Ohio. In another five years once those states are settled, Arizona, Utah, Idaho, Montana, and the Dakotas will go to pay off the debt for the next ten years.  After that all the southern states – Texas, Alabama, Louisiana, and Florida will be sold for another ten trillion to China. This will finally allow us to balance our entitlement programs, fund Obamacare, and maintain a nation of 40 million blacks on welfare along with 40 million Mexicans who game the entitlement system.


Look there is plenty of room. Trust me when I say there is tons of open space in Iowa and Kansas. No one will go without. And we as a nation will remain strong with our wars continuing to go on in Africa and the Middle East.  Russia lacking a warm water port has expressed considerable interest in the chessapeake and virginia.  At first we played with 100 year leases but it became clear what our bankers wanted was to own the land outright forever even if it meant paying a firmer price.


Well my administration is now over, our mission accomplished, and now that our goals are clearly explained I want to thank all of you for your patience. America will never again be a superpower, never be able to stand up to Russia, China, heck even India. We send off our manufacturing so our people will be forever poor. And we left all the profits for the jewish bankers who run wall street and our currency system. Did you really think we would change our ways? We pardoned Corzine for gods sake, a man who stole 500 billion dollars from his depositors.

The federal reserve system is put in place to slowly bankrupt any country that is dumb enough to have it. And while it took 100 years they have been successful destroying America as well. Nothing was done in secret. You all voted for it. So now you can’t complain. Remember those changs “Yes We Can” well this is the America that we could. I am joining my banker friends in a large luxury villa on an island that wont be disclosed. I’m sorry that you that have to remain won’t have such a great future to look forward to. Every ten years from now on another chunk of America will have to be sold to foreign creditors to make our debt payments. There is no way out. Eventually the last piece will be sold. I don’t know where they will tell you all to go, we never thought that part of the plan through. But I wish you all good luck and thank you again for helping me to accomplish all my goals these long hard eight years.