Dwayne Michael Carter, Jr., better known by his stage name Lil Wayne, is an American rapper, artist, and philanthropist who has been inducted into the rap music hall of fame, winner of Rap Artist of the Year and Greatest Rap Songwriter of All Time. With all these awards, we ask, how will the world live without the sweet stylings of a musical genius.

lil wayne

He looks smug in front of the multi-million dollar skate park he built in New Orleans. Lil Wayne has rocked the thug-beat world is now announcing after his much heralded final album “Shit I Made Up Choking on a Chicken Bone” that he will rap no more. We had a chance to interview Lil Wayne and reflect on his epic twenty year career.

GP: So How do you feel about retirement Lil? You have reached the top – Songwriter of the Year, Best Wrapper of the year. You’ve done it all now. Why retire now?

LW: Shoo, I tried to RETIRE but they wouldn’t let me

GP: Wouldn’t let you?

LW: No! Everytime I coughed, burped, or spoke they just kept throwing me buckets of money. Hickory Dickory Dock, a Mouse ran Up my Sock. Poof that’s forty million dollars. Do you know how hard it is to retire when they do shit like that! But now I got no where left to put all the money and I don’t need any more.

GP: Would you say your relationship with Nelly has helped you and your Career?

LW: Nelly? That fool boy just overdoses on skittles and makes up words – Skittles Skittles I feel the shittles. You call that RAP!

GP: We have spent a lot of time looking back and there were so many hits. We love:
Fuck all the discrete shit, i get on some peep shit
I am 21, tell me who do i compete with
I’m on my elite shit, you can tell im real cuz i’m gettin hood love
And i aint even talkin street shit

LW: Dat’s some good shit! I did that while bangin this skeevy who was poppin I mean Pop-in.

GP: Yes, it’s really amazing. We are particularly fond of how well you rhymed “shit” with “shit”. You do it again in your immortal “Struttin” tune:
Frostbite drizzy nigga, nobody is cold as drake
Keep yo ass inline, don’t be tryin’ to roller skate
Fuck all the discrete shit
i get on some peep shit

LW: Shoo I wrote that while trying to learn to roller skate. That’s a white fools bullshit no way rappah Wayne is gonna put wheels on his feet eveah again!

GP: Do you think rhyming shit with shit back when you were just 21 has helped pushed the genre further? You were an innovator and visionary for the rap world. Your reckless rhythm, you’re wild screaming. I mean, your “What” is legendary. Do you see your influence on the raps world as fading now that you are retiring your star?

LW: Naw fool, Snoop was rhyming shit with shit before I started it. Like rhyme fool with fool. Or Drool with Drool. It just works man. We call that the perfect rhyme cause it’s exactly the same word. Later there will be more rappers who rhyme shit with shit. We steal from each other that’s the way rap works.

GP: And we heard they paid you a record eighty million dollars for the ever memorable :
Money is everything, and it’s every other thing I’m part of the choir
and its the motto that my brother sing Cash is the right now,
women are post game MoneyOverBitches dot com check the domain
It’s coming too soon, album on the way People ask me if i pray,
i say yeah once in a blue moon Oops, i mean a red moon, i did it again to ’em

LW: They pay me all kinds of shit no matter what I say! It’s crazy. That last shit don’t even rhyme.

GP: “Blue moon oops I mean a red moon” I believe is the first time “oops” has made it into a rap platinum album. We’ve read so many times about these “Rapper Crappers” how did you recover the lyric and hook it up after stumbling so bad

LW: That’s the thing no matter how crazy the shit is you say, you just have to pretend like it’s music. Then everyone nods and keeps giving you money.

GP: It was also the first time an advertisement has been embedded in a rap song. Do they pay you for these advertisements in your songs?

LW: Hell yah foh shizzle, da Wayne doesn’t shingle for free! It’s catchin on now but I started it. I’m an innovator.

GP: For many of us white people, your lyrics can be obtuse and hard to penetrate. What exactly did you mean by “The Weezy Effect”

LW: Weezy. Like the Jeffersons ya dig? When things go off the hood, das the weezy!

GP: And what exactly does it mean “Back on my Grizzy?”

LW: You’d have to come back to my place and see it fo yourself!

GP: ” When a person of some sort usually a hustler has a whole system to get money. ” so says the urban guide for white people

LW: Das the Rap Music Biz Baby, it’s the Grizzy!

GP: You’ve won literally every award possible every single year. Which award do you hold dear to your heart? Which means the most to Lil Wayne?

LW: Every rappah knows its the “Stuntin’ Like My Daddy Viewer’s Choice” award. That’s the pinnacle. Can be nothin less u be stuntin.

GP: I’m not sure I understand the words you are saying but let’s just keep going. We notice a lot of your albums are deeply religious and about god and praying. And tattooed on your eyes is Fear God. Are you a religious man Wayne?

LW: Shoo after Biggie an Tupac every rappers a religious homie Aight?

GP: And when you said “I’m gonna pick up the world and Ima drop it on your fuckin head I could die now rebirth and hook up in my spaceship and leave earth” do you believe in man’s exploration of outer space? Do you believe in the buddhist notion of rebirth?

LW: We done fucked up this world, why not fuck up the rest o dem planets! Das what peoples do. Sho Mars is gonna be a new crack ho farm if we go there! No matter where you crackers go, we will be there too!

GP: That brings us to your relationship with famous gay singer Bruno Mars. Is it true that you two have a special relationship?

LW: Mars? I do the talkin and he do the singin aight? I’d rather get paid to talk!

GP: What about the nay sayers who declare that it’s all just a billion dollar push by the government to push ghetto culture to the masses and degrade society so they can force an elitist zionist banker take over of the nation and destroy our freedoms?

LW: Damn fool, that’s the truth. Those men with the briefcases of money? I never asked them who they were but shit like you had to ASK a brother can TELL these things man! I even wrote a tune about it:
I take a pee, my rhyme gets jiggy
The men in black, more cases for my piggy
Now I’m only 30
everything is free.
I took a fart and
again they paid again me
I got so much dough no need to work
just drink all the fizzy
and ride my ho who is so jizzy
niggah in the blanc house
chiggers in my pants bounce
dancin with my yum yums
lookin for my brothers louse
don wait up for the night clerk
Lil Wayne is out of work

GP: That was utterly incredible. We just don’t know how you keep doing it. The world will feel the loss of your incredible talent. I for one have to say, nothing will be the same without the genius, brilliance, and overwhelmingly beautiful musical stylings of the incomparable Lil Wayne.

BET Hip-Hop Awards 2012 HYFR Best Hip-Hop Video
BMI Urban Music Awards 2012 – Songwriter Of The Year
MTV Video Music Awards 2012 HYFR Best Hip-Hop Video
Billboard Music Awards 2012 Tha Carter IV Top Rap Album
Billboard Music Awards 2012 – Top Rap Artist
Billboard Music Awards 2012 Motivation Top R&B Song
Billboard Music Awards 2012 – Top Male Artist
BET Awards 2011 Look At Me Now Video Of The Year
BET Awards 2011 Look At Me Now Best Collaboration
BET Awards 2011 Look At Me Now Viewer’s Choice Award
BET Hip-Hop Awards 2011 Look At Me Now Best Collaboration
BET Hip-Hop Awards 2011 – Best Lyricist
BET Hip-Hop Awards 2011 Look At Me Now Best Hip-Hop Video
BET Hip-Hop Awards 2011 – Best Live Performer
BET Hip-Hop Awards 2011 Look At Me Now People’s Champ Award
ASCAP Awards 2010 Mrs. Officer Award Winning Rap Song
ASCAP Awards 2010 Forever Award Winning Rap Song
BET Awards 2010 – Best Group
BMI Urban Music Awards 2010 – Most Performed Song Of The Year
BMI Urban Music Awards 2010 – Songwriter Of The Year
Sucker Free Summit Awards 2010 No Ceilings Mixtape Of The Year
Sucker Free Summit Awards 2010 Drop The World The People’s Crown
BET Awards 2009 – Best Male Hip-Hop Artist
BMI Urban Music Awards 2009 – Songwriter Of The Year
Grammy Awards 2009 Lollipop Best Rap Song
Grammy Awards 2009 Swagga Like Us Best Rap Performance By A Group
Grammy Awards 2009 Tha Carter III Best Rap Album
Grammy Awards 2009 A Milli Best Rap Solo Performance
BET Awards 2008 Lollipop Viewer’s Choice
BET Hip-Hop Awards 2008 – MVP Of The Year
BET Hip-Hop Awards 2008 A Milli Track Of The Year
BET Hip-Hop Awards 2008 Lollipop Best Ringtone Of The Year
BET Hip-Hop Awards 2008 Tha Carter III CD Of The Year
BET Hip-Hop Awards 2008 I’m So Hood (Remix) Best Hip-Hop Collabo
BET Hip-Hop Awards 2008 – Lyricist Of The Year
BET Hip-Hop Awards 2008 A Milli People’s Champ
MTV Europe Music Awards 2008 – Artists Choice
MTV Video Music Awards 2008 Lollipop Best Hip-Hop Video
Ozone Awards 2008 – Best Rap Artist
Ozone Awards 2008 – Best Lyricist
BET Awards 2007 Stuntin’ Like My Daddy Viewer’s Choice
BET Awards 2007 – Best Male Hip-Hop Artist
BET Hip-Hop Awards 2007 Stuntin’ Like My Daddy Alltel People’s Champ
Ozone Awards 2007 You Best Rap/R&B Collaboration
Ozone Awards 2007 – Mixtape Monster Award
Ozone Awards 2007 We Takin’ Over Best Video
Ozone Awards 2007 – Best Lyricist
Ozone Awards 2007 – Best Male Rap Artist
Vibe Music Awards 2007 Da Drought III Best Mixtape Of The Year
Vibe Music Awards 2007 – Best Rapper
Vibe Music Awards 2007 We Takin’ Over Coolest Collabor

* parts of this article are satire