One by one the outrages become too much and people begin to stand up


So I’m standing in the b******t “security theater” line at LAX (does anybody else think the dumbest, most dangerous place an a**hole terrorist would try anything is a commercial flight full of people like me who are just itching to legally kick anyone to death who tries anything?) behind the incredibly beautiful Nichelle Nichols, who played Uhura on the original Star Trek. At 81, she’s still as gracious, classy and lovely as ever.

Unfortunately, as is the case for many people her age, she has some mobility problems and was seated in a wheelchair as we approached the metal detector. With some difficulty, she got out of the chair to go through the machine, and the TSA Officer waiting on the other side ordered her to take off her shoes. (Who the f**k designed the TSA uniforms? Idi-f*****g-Amin? G-d, they’re embarrassing. With all the epaulets and ribbons and that horrible blue, they look like a bunch of deposed third-world eleventy-star generals. But I digress…)

So when this officious prick asked the Single-Woman-on-Earth-Least-Likely-to-Be-a-Terrorist to remove her shoes, despite her clearly limited mobility, I said (very loudly), “Sir! That woman is a Star Fleet Communications Officer! She is WAY above your pay-grade! How DARE you ask her to remove her shoes?!”

At this, all the other people waiting in line cheered and applauded, and the dick-wad was shamed into waving her through. It was an awesome moment, and I won’t soon forget the expression of pure bliss on Miss Nichols’ face as she soaked up all that love, attention and support from her fans in line–which were pretty much EVERYBODY in line.

— Mark Carroll.