The outspoken rapper took to the stage to pick up the Michael Jackson Video Vanguard Award for lifetime achievement at last night’s Video Music Awards before launching into one of his characteristically lengthy speeches.

To illustrate his point that such ceremonies are pointless, Kanye drew upon a 2007 memory of seeing Justin Timberlake crying after losing out in the Album of the Year category. Because JT should not be thinking of himself as a loser, alright?

Kanye, who takes existing hit songs and then screams on top of them, got his first success with the song “Gold digger” which has the classic line “I ain’t sayin she no gold diggah, but she no name broke de broke”

Kanye joins great musicians like Beethoven, Chopin, Miles Davis, Etta James, and others as one of the greatest of all time.

One fourth grade teach was so impressed with Kanye she teaches a full year of Kanye west in her classroom. “We can all aspire to be Kanye” said a priminant professor. “He’s a genius” said another.

“I am trying to be the Kanye West of teaching. Kanye West is the best at what he does, and I want to be the best at what I do,” he told E! News. “As for now, I will stick with this theme. It is amazing! Why wouldn’t I? I have several ideas to build on, but I’ll keep it a secret for now.”  White children lined up and opened up books with big pictures of Kanyes head on the front.

It’s not as crazy as it sounds, most of Kanye’s songs are written at a 3rd grade level or less. Take out Crack, how, and Crackah and it’s the new Dr. Seuss.

Since the US Government pressured MTV to play nothing but negro artists and began huge 100 million dollar payola to black rappers, the role model for all black youth basically became a ho riding gangsta rappah to share in the huge mountains of cash as well. This now portrayal of negros as low IQ angry savage thugs has led to things like several blacks randomly killing whites and white police officers. IT’s a message some are starting to question. “I’m not sure its positive for our children to learn about riding hos and bustin caps” said Matilda Johnson of the Saint Paul fifth grade. “das Raciss Kanye is the greatest” said a black teacher who wished to remain anonymous.

Or even a god? His album “Yeesus” declared it thusly:

Blazing, mi don’t want them
Mi need them
Suk mi deek har outta bugah red and put her in a tall skirt
And now she find out what life is really worth
No to X rated
Yo mi tek har outta bugah red and put her in a tall skirt
And now she find out what life is really worth
No to X rated

I am a god
I am a god
I am a god

Hurry up with my damn ménage
Get the Porsche out the damn garage
I am a god
Even though I’m a man of god
My whole life in the hands of god
So y’all better quit playing with god

[Verse 1]
Soon as they like you make ’em unlike you
Cause kissing people ass is so unlike you
The only rapper compared to Michael
So here’s a few hating-ass niggas who’ll fight you
And here’s a few snake-ass niggas to bite you
And I don’t even wanna hear ’bout what niggas might do
Old niggas mentally still in high school
Since the tight jeans they never liked you
Pink-ass polos with a fucking backpack