The First Congregational Church of Leverett Dec. 27, 2016.

A broad network of 37 Protestant and Orthodox Christian denominations will announce on Friday a campaign to mobilize its congregants — some 30 million Americans in all — to lobby the president and members of Congress to rescind the executive orders.

In a declaration hammered out over the last month, church leaders call the orders “unjust and immoral” and say they run counter to “the values we as people of faith hold dear: to welcome the stranger and assist those most in need.”

“It is imperative that we speak out against the notion that refugees are a threat to our safety,” the declaration adds. “They are not.”

“How many refugees and illegal aliens is your church prepared to house and feed for 30 years?” asked one correspondent. All he got back was glazed dizzy looks. “It’s all paid by the government, we don’t have to do that” said one pastor.

“But isn’t the Christian thing to do to take them into your own homes?”

“Well we try, but since there is government money to pay us 450,000 a year for each refugee we settle, it’s quite profitable for us to take in dozens of refugees.”

“Let me get this straight, the church is making a million bucks every year for every 15 refugees it takes in, more or less?”

“Yes, it is a blessing. Since we have resettled over 1,000 refugees from our local church, that’s ten million dollars in needed income every year since our priests decided to start ass fucking little boys the pews haven’t been as full as they used to be”