Josie has four children, triplets and one three year old. It’s a normal family with feedings, changing diapers, and dressing them. Normal that is, except for one thing, they are all made of plastic.

Enter the “Reborn” doll craze, where childless women in their 30s 40s and 50s get synthetic substitutes for cob webbed wombs.

“They are just like real children” said Josie, and indeed the dolls are quite life like. Other manufacturers go the whole nine yards creating realistic genitalia and pooping functions.

“When I was a little girl we had Betsy Wetsy, well they have nothing on the gigantic Poopasaurus that these modern dolls can generate”

The secrete is in the food. When the vinager based nutrient hits the baking soda tablets in the dolls abdomen, a huge foaming brown mush is created which grows and finally blows out all over its diaper a few minutes after eating. And it smells horrible”

“Oh she needs changing again!” said a happy customer.

“The cost in diapers is sending us to the poor house!” sighed another dad.

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As the MGTOW movement takes hold with more and more men refusing marriage because divorce courts take more than half of their savings and earnings and they lose the rights to their children, a substitute has emerged for the new increasingly large wave of white women who never reproduce. And investors are taking notice.

“We have three poop formulas, and one that resembles urine” said Dared Jams of Miracle Baby Inc. “We have the most realistic poop in the industry. We even have a pleasant poop formula with jelly beans but surprisingly people prefer our more realistic poops. In the end, it’s about happy clients”

“and dirty diapers!” laughed his assistant.

Of course the best advantage of these new realistic infants is that you can customize them to be your perfect baby.  Like wrinkly skin? How about a pudgy baby fat look? It’s easy with upgrade kits that will grow your premie all the way to two years old.

Any worried about what eye color to chose? Don’t! Upgrade kits with eyeballs of every hue and nationality abound on the third party market. Of course all this realism doesn’t come without a price with several doll kits starting at over $5,000.

“Sure they are expensive, but that’s just part of the realism” said an expectant dad as his wife pushed him into the purchase. When asked who gets the doll in the divorce the father just laughed.

In Japan, “fathers” skip the infant years and go straight to pre-teen. It’s a craze that’s catching on.

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