“Sex With Monkees Is Not the Problem!” said African Plague researcher Umbeki D’Kong’th, “It is Dancing with the dead bodies of the plague victims that is causing the spread”

Others think that decades of shitting in the streets has caused a vermin problem – cockroaches, rats, mice, that quickly spread plague just like what happened in medieval cities in Europe when sanitation there was atrocious.

“You must not have sex with the dead bodies when people die of the plague” continued Umbeki “but sadly some traditions are hard for people to break. They see it as carrying on the spirit”

Others claim that the plague started from eating bush meat, small monkies and bats that carry the disease.

At least 143 people have died and more than 2,000 others have been infected in Madagascar since an outbreak in early August this year. They project over 100,000 infections by the end of the decade if massive aid packages are not given to African countries.

Yet Malawi’s health secretary confirmed the country is ready for any reported cases of the disease amid mounting concerns of Africa’s ‘porous borders’. “It is going to cost hundreds of billions of dollars to clean up this problem the wealthy nations must provide the money”

Dr Dan Namarika, principal secretary in the ministry of health, said the country were working in conjunction with aid organizations to halt the spread of the disease. Witch doctors have come into high demand to protect the villages with “good juju”