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Shes fresh and perky, and a little sassy. The sister and #2 dictator of North Korea is the new Ivanka sensation taking Seoul by storm. Her name is Kim Yo Jong and yo biatch if she aint the new boss in Seol!

“To celebrate our first gold medal, all North Koreans will receive one cup more of rice each year” said the smiling dicatoress dressed in Christian Dior shawls and Versace overcoats.  That’s nearly double the current allotment! Such freedom!

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‘She is dangerously skinny and needs to eat” said another North Korean Official. “When they pull your teeth out and then put them back in different places so you can have crooked teeth like fearless leader, it is a blessing.” said Mu Wo Lung.

“No one tortures your children quite like Kim-Yo. She has a certain knack with the whip and thumbscrews the children respect” said Ju Woo Dong.

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Pence was ever so grumpy in her presence.  As Queen of Propaganda she replied “Our Greatest Nation and Greatest Leader Will Crush All You Maggots Soon Enough”. A large crowd of Koreans clapped.

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We Love You Dear Leader Sister, Please Don’t Kill Our Babies

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Still there is something special about KimYo, a Kardsashian kind of arrogance and veins filled with ice water that makes the old generals stand just that much taller.