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Broken toes, falling down everywhere, sprained hands, Hillary is a mess. “It’s the GDP, the Majority of the GDP generating areas voted for me, you have already saved me” shrieked Hillary as she stuffed her face with papadams and chutney.

Looking like a chubby chicken she waddled down some simple stairs before slipping twice.

“It’s the election, Every time I think I should be president I stumble down stairs, there is no escape don’t make me destroy you” said the erudite enchantress.

Sure she stole 145 million by selling off America’s uranium to Russia but who cares when she’s got a bum like that!

A billion stolen from starving Haitians? Have you seen this girls figure? I don’t care if it was two billion she’s a knockout!

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“I’m running again, don’t you count me out yet! It is the only way you can save your friends” said the bellicose goat stuffing her pudgy face with butter chicken and punjabi korma. “And your dog too!” she cackled. “No madam, we don’t eat dog in India” said a polite waiter. “Err, whatever, where’s my garlic Naan!” shrieked the reptilian rapasting midget.

Going goofy eyed for a second the octogenarian continued “We’ve built a crime empire thats gobal see, and we control everything and everybody. You can’t stop me from being president search your feelings its my destiny” “No, that’s Darth Vader” said the turban wearing waiter hoisting roast pig into the giant’s maw. “It’s not Darth Vader” screamed the brazen politicianess. “No madam, Don’t dell me I don know Darth Vader we have star wars in India you can be sure of that” the two fight and begin pulling pig skewers back and forth. “Give me that Ham Hock! It’s MINE MINE MINE MINE” screamed the bloated gopher.  “No you’ve eaten quite enough. First you insult me then you insult darth vader it’s quite enough!”

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A security detailed forced us from the scene as several waiters struggled to stop the huge white pant-suited beast from seizing all the food on the table tipping it over.  “You must stop quoting Darth Vader” we could overhear the waiter screaming smashing a Papadam over her head as she hurled a tandor skewer at his eye.