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“I thought I could have sex with so many men and no consequences” said Joanna, a fetching 23 year old office manager. “Then I started getting these strange things on my skin, I was infected and it’s not curable”

The new strains of STDs are stronger, tougher, and more incurable than ever. Super Syph, Gonnnorgetcha, and hyperHerpes are the new lingo of diseases.

It’s like a new trading card game, I’ll give you SuperGonnorea for your HyperHerpes.

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“We call them tinder children, they often come in and have three or four of the incurables all at once. And lord help their partners on Tinder. We often ask them for their tinder histories but they always refuse”

It’s the new face of millenial sex abuse, and its frightening.

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“Most of these tinder chics who feel empowered, they get addicted to the attention and become sex addicts, they have over 100 sex partners by the time they are 25. After that they are just used washed up and damaged” said Dr. Kunaporn of the regional STD clinic who sees hundreds of these millennial tinder girls every week.

“My advice to men seeking to find a good wife to marry is stay away from Tinder and try to find a 16 year old to court with the families permission. Tell them what’s going on out there, the diseases and dangers, and how your goal is to PROTECT their daughter within a safe family.  Most will likely still cheat and bring diseases home, but its the best we can do in our crazy modern society” Kunaporn sighed.

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“What’s sad is we were winning the fight in the USA with new treatments and antibiotics. We were keeping the whoring womens behavior in check with drugs. But finally they all morphed into super strains. Now we are helpless and just treat the sores and symptoms. If you want to have sex, go to Europe, especially traditional countries like Hungary, there the women haven’t gone wild yet”

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“Remember that most of the new cases are found in blacks not whites as they have the most sex partners” said Kunaporn.

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