“They were everywhere” said Omaroso sobbing. “Half Chimp Half Weasel hairless monsters. They traveled through the ventilation shafts and underground corridors that were secretly put in when the white house was rebuilt in the 1830s.”

“Half Chimps?” we asked

“Dear god can’t you hear them. Every night. Clawing. Squeeking. Gnawing. IT WAS HORRIBLE!” sobbed the ex Trump affirmative action hire.

“I’ve got a tape of Trump saying he uses them to get rid of undesirables but they were getting too well fed by the white house cooks to be of any use” said the tapists “They WERE EVERYWHERE”

She plays the tape as we listen intently. The voice of Trump is clearly heard “These tax cuts will go down in history as the greatest boon to the middle class…”

“No No it was another tape, he’s destroyed it. One of his half chimps broke in and ate it” shrieked the disturbed woman.

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Omaroso now lives in dark corridors waiting for her doom

WE’ll keep you posted. What will Omaroso come up with this week? Next? Only god knows.