“Like they’re all so furry or something” said an exasperated Kylie “Muffin” Malone, section chapter of Kappa Gamma, the Alabama sorority in trouble. It appears they are just too white.

So the president has ordered them to find ONE acceptable black to join the sorority. But the recruits just haven’t been up to snuff so far.

“Like what is the deal with your hair it looks like a brillo Oh Me-God!” screamed one member.

“Why does she look like an APE. I am not taking a shower with an APE” said another.

Actually it was an ape, a chimp dressed up in Alpha gamma clothes was snuck in by neighboring fraternity Kappa Phi Delta. But the girls were no wiser.

“I like guess we have to take her, we need one black in the house” said dorm president Katty Holdemtite.

The new system — known as “snap bidding” or “continuous open bidding” — is one in which sororities can offer membership to a student who has not gone through the entire rush process. Sororities can extend such offers any time during the year.

Traditionally, the system has been used by sororities that did not meet their membership goals. Requiring all sororities to use the system theoretically makes it possible for all of them to admit black members, even after failing to do so in the traditional rush process, year after year.

Most university presidents don’t focus on sorority recruitment, but at Alabama, an article in the student newspaper — The Crimson White — has created a furor and raised questions about the university’s climate for black students. The article detailed the way the official sorority system — an extremely influential part of student life at Alabama — has remained all-white, and how alumnae have pressured sororities to keep black students out.

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The newest member ….