badplasticAfter nearly $100,000 spent on plastic surgery, Michael Mathers has found himself in a bind. He borrowed the money to afford the surgeries, and then finally met his beautiful wife.

His wife saw his oddly transformed face and assumed he was rich to afford so much plastic surgery. So the next year when she divorced him she was expecting quite the windfall.

“I thought he had millions” said Trisha Parks. “But it turned out he was broke and in debt. Thank goodness the divorce courts declared that he had to pay me $10,000 a month for my suffering”

Of course facing this decision, Michael had no way to earn the money as a barista at Starbucks. So once he fell behind the court sent him to prison for failing to pay.

Now his new found face is seen only buy his cellmates. Do they find him more pretty now?

“He do look kinda like a girl with that weird face” said Bubba Jones, his cellmate. “But he’s too ugly for me. In a way it’s saved his ass in prison him looking so scarecrow like”

Meanwhile Trisha has found her new beau to be, a rich real estate mogul who puts in expensive golf courses. “He’s not quite a trump, but I’m sure with another $10,000 a month in alimony I’ll finally be able to live the lifestyle I deserve.”