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Damon “The Skeev” Wayings has a lesson for your boys

The Youngtown school board has voted 5-4 to allow the teaching of boys how to masturbate in Sex-Ed classes which begin at age eight.

“Many young boys just do not know the right way to masturbate” exclaimed Damon Wayings, a Los Angeles school board member. “We have incorporated a sex positive program in our Sex-Ed classes to promote gender equality.”

The program begins with a banana and a condom, but ends with vibrators, flesh dams, and fleshlights.

“Tech has advanced, Boys need to learn all their options” says Wayings.

An Eight year old boy presses the vibrator against his groin and smiles. “It’s no different than what they teach the girls, they have vibrators in those classes also”

Dong Sword Fighting is thrown in to teach them not to be afraid of their phallus. Complete with protection helmets. “Here at our school district, safety is first” said Wayings.

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“This is fun” says Benji.  “Mine Twirls!” says Edgar

Traditional topics such as “The travel of the Egg” and “Syphilis, You don’t want it!” are also covered.

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And the classic sex-ed book, “Which Mommies or Daddies Do I Have?”

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This week Orenstein published Girls & Sex: Navigating the Complicated New Landscape.

The book functions as both ethnography and feminist polemic. After interviewing more than 70 high-school and college-aged girls about sex, orgasms, sexting, blow jobs, and Brazilian waxing regimens that start at age 14 — and consulting with parents, teachers, sociologists, and medical researchers — Orenstein reaches some bleak conclusions. “Listening to girls’ litany of disembodied early experiences,” she writes, “it sometimes struck me that we’d performed the psychological equivalent of a clitoridectomy on our daughters: as if we believed, somehow, that by hiding the truth from them (that sex, including oral sex and masturbation, can and should feel fabulous) that they won’t find out, and so will stay ‘pure.’”