xi on screen

AP: Thousands gathered at the world economic forum in Shanghai this month to hear Xi JinPing’s summit keynote address on the new trade war with the USA.

“OUR GREAT NATION WILL NOT BOW TO INSULT FOR CHINAS RIGHT TO INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY CREATED IN GREAT UNIONS” a huge picture of XI was projected on the wall. Like big brother.

“This is exciting” said the MSNBC female reporter – “Today will be a historic announcement if China will yield to the Trump plan or fight back. We are all waiting on this historic final word” ….

“Trade War… Will be… Long Penis” said XI Ping on a giant screen in front of ten thousand at the May Day Shanghai Economic summit talks. When asked by western reporters how exactly trade would be a long penis attending trade attaché Hu Mi replied “Things will be hard, but we will push through”

Later, they realized that the character for Penis and March in Chinese were the same, only a slight rising tone created the difference. YouJing 阴茎  vs.  Yóuxíng. It had been a translator mistake.

“WRONG MARCH! WRONG MARCH” screamed the Chinese cultural attache screaming frantically.

“Whaa? How can march be wrong?”

“Not March, March!” screamed attache Hu.

“So you are saying your penis will get long in March” asked a blonde bimbo spokesmodel from MSNBC.

“Is there a Tariff on your penis? or penis products?” asked a male bimbo reporter for CNN.

“NO, XI mean we do Commie Way. We march long time. Until Twump no tariff us no more!” said Hu.

“Trade War…. LONG PENIS” the screen kept flashing. “LONG PENIS”  … “LONG PENIS” with picture of XI.

“Turn OFF SCREEN DIS MEETING CANCEL” screamed Hu Mi flapping his arms.

A picture of XI with Winnie the POOH flashed on the screen.

jipooh

“NO POOH! ARRRGGGHHHH! NO POOH ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME!” screamed Hu Mi pulling the plug on the projector. Several attendants tried to run up to Hu but fell on top of themselves. “Get off me!” screamed Hu, disgruntled.

“So there you have it” said the MSNBC blondie, “there will be retaliatory tariffs on penis products and winnie the pooh. I’m Katie Bondsworth, MSNBC News from Shanghai”