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“Are you ready to take your little one home?” asked the nurse.

“Excuse me?” replied the stunned patient who had just had an abortion.

Yet there it was swaddled in a diaper and tubes.

“It will last several weeks, but once it starts smelling funny you’ll have to flush it” replied the smiling nurse.

This new program, teaching women to love their abortions, is all the rage at trendy clinics in California. “It prevents the separation anxiety that once plagued new mothers” said Dr. Kirschorff. “But now, everyone is happy”

“With abortions replacing births for most modern women these days, the whole way we handled it had to change.” Nurse Janes explained.

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We interviewed several women who had gone through this new process, including holding the fetus after the “birth” and then taking it home. It was true, most were more happy and better adjusted.

“No Mr. Mittens NO!” screamed a recent mother, as her cat tore into the Abortion Bag Eating an arm.

“Well there are still a few problems we have to work out!” (everyone laughing) “There sure is” replied the mom smiling, wiping the blood off her cats face.