a4d7f3d42f6f1992f30be92081d19a19China, outraged at the loss of their total trade rape of America and all the intellectual property theft has put tariffs on 75B of American Products.

Responding to the Chinese tariffs,  Trump proclaimed – “”We don’t need China and, frankly, would be far… better off without them,” Trump tweeted.

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We sat down with Chinese Attache Hu Mi to discuss these developments.

PM: Ambassador Mi, what is going on with these new tariffs.

HM: Trump think he only one who can tariff? China tariff also! Eat that baby.

PM: But China is stealing intellectual property, manipulating currency, and guilty of dumping products to put American businesses out of business. So things are already not fair.

HM: Communism mean share the wealth. China doesn’t steal. China just share. You try to keep American technology for yourselves. Take self driving cars. China want self driving cars more than America. You ever see chinese drivers? Terrible! But China can’t get the technology until Tesla builds plants here. Once they do… BOOM chinese self driving cars.

PM: But that’s theft.

HM: No, companies agree to build joint companies, joint factories – they enter into communist system. If American’s don’t want to share, we no buy tofu and pork. Simple simple.

PM: Do you think eventually China will wake up and play fair

HM: No, China already fair. It China time now. America if you don’t want to share your technology then we take it from Germany, from England, many other places want to play nice with China. America will be left out. No more cheap chinese junk in your Walmarts. Now expensive chinese junk in Walmarts. Take that America!

PM: But with the one sided trade, there’s no way China can win a Tariff war with the US. Also more and more companies will just pack up and move to Vietnam or Thailand where production costs are the same as China. Do you think China putting Tariffs on American goods was a wise idea?

HM: Of course it good. American farmers are going to start to feel it. One billion chinese no longer eating Tofu from American GMO soybean. That’s a lot of Tofu! We can make our own Tofu. Our scientists have invented a tofu which is made from cassava roots. Tastes just as good (nooo its terrible, a chinese diplomat in the back of the room could be heard saying). We don’t need American soybeans for tofu, that delicious firm silky American tofu. It’s the genetic mutations, make best tofu. But Americans have no diea the value, they feed it to cows.  We tried to make it from north vietnamese soybean and taste like dirt.  Give us the formula to mutate soybeans. GIVE US THE FORMULA!!!

PM: Well no one can predict what is next, but certainly the world was shocked that China would retaliate with more tariffs. This is certainly unexpected. It’s a game china cannot win.

HM: Tariff like fortune cookie.  No one knows what it means until you look inside.