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The Rise of skywalker will be the end of what has been at times a trying experience for fans. With the last episode being a SJW flop, with the new characters sucking because of bad scripting and bad casting.

Case in point – Snoke – we know  not where he comes from or who he was.  The black guy and the fat korean chic – boring. We care not. The purple haired general chic – super boring.

Rey is the only unboring character but shes not from nowhere which is about to be revealed to her by Princess Leia. The meeting goes like this…

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Rey is on a new planet where when wandering trying to take out a power shield or some other stupid goal like episode six when she comes into a clearing and sees Leia.

“I thought you were dead” says Rey

Leia (a force ghost) “No I have something important to tell you. Kylo is my child but he is not your enemy you must not destroy him”

“destroy him? I can barely last a minute against him”

“No, you will get much stronger.  I sense an old sith lord whose presence I have not felt in many years. he is your true enemy. Only a Skywalker will have the strength to defeat him”

Leia blows a kiss to Rey and then vanishes. “But there are no skywalkers left” thinks Rey puzzled

Rey has hijacked onto the outside of Kylos ship. Kylo puts down on the planet about to be destroyed by the planet eater ray. There is not much time left. Kylo comes out in full armor and no longer wearing the mask. They begin fighting with their light sabers  – she loses as usual to his better light sabering skills.  As Kylo is about to strike a death blow Rey cries out that she surrenders. She offers her wrists and he cuffs them behind her.

He leads  her off to his new master. “Haven’t we done this before?” smiles Rey. Kylo pilots his craft off the doomed planet and to the planet of his new master.

They descend deep into a cave wherein lies the new Emperor – who is the still alive Emperor from Empire strikes back  – Darth Sidious. Being chopped in half is not a death blow (btw better go chop Snokes head off while there’s still time!).

The emperor pins REY to the wall with his power. “Leave us, even you will not be able to stomach what I do to her” snivled Sidious. “As you wish master” bows Kylo.

“What a jerk! You just always find new masters to bow to. When are you going to be a real man!” screams REY

The emperor turns REY to the dark side, and she is sent to kill Kylo the wuss. “You are now my new apprentice, I shall call you Darth Mordicus”

Rey battles Kylo again this time with a fancy split apart light saber that becomes a double saber.  As she beats him down she whips out the lightening bolts which she has mastered now that she is a sith minion.  Kylo fights back but begins losing.

But then, in the midst of her Darth Sidious mind control she sees images of Luke and Leia, and then the big secret of all the films happens. She flickers and her eyes change and her light saber switches from once blue, now red… to purple. A pulsating of many colors. She has mastered BOTH SIDES of the force at once. And is now the original form before the jedi and sith splintered. She is the unified UBER power. With one blow she whacks Kylo’s light saber and it splits in half useless. She lifts Kylo up helpless with her mind force and begins to make a Darth Vader choke pinch with her hand when she smiles.  And drops him.

“I was the last Jedi, but I am Jedi no more. There is no reason for us to fight any longer –  we are one in the force” says Rey, and she walks off, back to the cave of Darth Sidious for the final battle.  Kylo gets up puzzled and confused – “One in the force?” he thinks.  He goes into a special darth vader like chamber in his ship so that he cannot be force sensed by Sidious for if Sidious knew he survived the battle he would attack Rey instantly. He sits and broods nervously unable to sense the outside world, but the world cannot sense him either.

“Ah I see you have destroyed that weakling apprentice of Snoke. Good very good.” Sidious shocks the audience by standing on mechanical legs and rising up in full power and glory. Lightning bolts arc off him just from the sheer power of all the force knowledge he has gained in all his time in seclusion.  Rey walks forward.

“The Jedi are no more” says Rey

“goood. you have done well Darth Mordicus”

“And after I kill you the sith will be no more” says Rey emotionless launching her light saber. They pull out light sabers and at their first strike both smash into a thousand pieces. They both stand back confused and dazed. that has never happened before.

Rey and Sidious blast each other with lightning bolts, Sidious unleashing a massive barrage which Rey can barely hold back. She is about to be defeated.

“He’s too strong” thinks Rey “only a skywalker can defeat him” she hears Leia’s voice in her mind and thinks she cannot win.

Then behind her, the ghost of the older Anakin Skywalker appears, deformed of face. Ray jumps in fright. Some monster? Some new apprentice of Sidious?

Anakin smiles at Rey lovingly and he places his arm on her shoulder. Rey gets a bit stronger and her color changes to a bit more RED. Still the blasts from Sidious seem unstoppable and he cackles over and over.  Rey meets his lightning with lightning of her own.

“Didn’t I kill you once?” screams Sidious to Vader/Anakin

“I was thinking the same thing” replied Anakin.

The force ghost of an older Luke Skywalker with beard appears and places his hand on her other shoulder with large blue pulses coming out. Rey bolts forward her eyes shine out brightly purple. She is now able to equalize Sidious’ power, she is now balanced – all of the force.

Sidious cackles “You’re that child I cooked.”

Luke smiles “Well I’ve learned a bit more since last we met” his eyes blaze blue and Rey’s force blasts out even strong pushing Sidious’ lightning backwards.

Sidious screams out “NEVER! Yoda never told you how I defeated him”

A small voice rings out “Let’s just say you got lucky”.  It is the force ghost of Yoda “But don’t worry, that won’t happen again” said Yoda firmly then smiles slowly – “I’ve learned something new”

Sidious shows the first sign of fear.

Rey looks down as she feels something at her leg. It is the force ghost of Yoda adding his power. Yoda closes his eyes and concentrates… all the hairs on his body stand on end. There is a crackle in the air. Power beyond belief.

Reys’ purple lightning changes and begins to circle around the lightning from Sidious. Slowly it pushes forward towards him erasing his lightning bolts. Finally it encircled him and he cannot push it back, it is a new force power never seen before.

“No! NO!” screams Sidious furious. He pushes with all his might and the field pushes back just a bit but then closes around him. The speed and brightness of the purple field intensifies and slowly bits of Sidious are pulled apart. He is fading into oblivion. And then he is no more, his electronic legs falling over empty with a loud clank.

“Has he merged with the force?” asked Rey worrying that he might come back.

“No, replied Yoda.  he has been removed. He is nothing” said a out of breath Yoda sitting down with his cane.

Rey mouths silently to Luke – “You can do that?” Luke whispers back – “It’s Yoda”

“But Leia said only a skywalker would have the power to defeat darth sidious” responds Rey confusedly

“Well several skywalkers” replied Luke “Sorry I didn’t tell you before, I wasn’t entirely sure until I talked with Obi-Wan about it. There was a girl I loved during the clone wars and she died, I was never told about your birth”

“Thats odd, the same thing happened to me” said Anakin puzzled.

“So you mean?”

“Yes Rey, you are REY SKYWALKER, MY DAUGHTER, and GrandDaughter of Anakin Skywalker”

Anakin waves, looking a bit like a smiling egg. Rey points to anakin then back at herself mouthing “grandfather?”

Yoda takes a big breath. “I sense great balance”

Anakin replies “Yes I sense it also”

“The prophecy has been completed. It is time for us to go” responds Yoda looking tired. Apparently force ghosts are not supposed to stick around so long.

Luke and Anakin are hugging Rey

“Wait, I have so many questions, so much to learn”

“You have learned the new way. Now you are the teacher” replied Luke. “Don’t worry, we will always be around just think about us and we will hear you.”

Luke and Yoda begin to walk off and fade out but Anakin is talking to Rey “No not like that that’s terrible, you have to really pinch your fingers”  Rey pinches her fingers with more confidence. Anakin nods.

Luke turns his head back and yells “FATHER!!!!!”  A portal has opened and inside in a shimmer you can just make out Obi-Wan sitting and having tea.

Anakin takes one last look at REY and smiles. And then trots off to join Luke and Yoda and all three slowly fade out.

—- final scene

Kylo is shocked/surprised as his isolation chamber lid lifts open. Rey stands there.

Kylo steps out.  They both embrace. The two suns begin to set.