Joe Biden shocked tv viewers when during a CNN town hall his eyes mysteriously filled with blood.

(later that night)


Biden: Hello?

DVL: Joe you broke our deal

Biden: Look I’m under a lotta stress. I’m like 80 years old

DVL: You know the deal. I get your soul and you win the primary, but if you ever let anyone know about the deal then I get to keep your soul and no primary win.

Biden: Look friend, I didn’t tell anyone (Biden places arm around Devil). I appreciate everything you did with Tulsi Gabbard.  But now I’m facing Warren and she’s got that Comanche blood, she’s vicious.

DVL: THOSE EYES MAN Can it be more freakin obvious! How can I vanquish the evil of Warren when you are off broadcasting that you’ve lost your soul!

Biden:  No one will know I promise, look people get blood eyes all the time. My friend crashed his SUV and his eyes went bloody for a month

DVL: Allright Joe, but I’m watching you. One more slip up and our deal is off. You soul goes straight to hell, no presidency, no hundreds of millions of dollars in graft money and fancy trips to Europe.

Biden: Can I at least keep my personal chef?

DVL: Yes, but he will become vegan


<loud thunderclap>

Warren Who has summoned PocaCuntus ?

Biden (cowering): It was him (points at devil)

Warren: Allright Mephisto, do you remember what I have in this case? ONE MILLION SOULS, all who pledged their support for me so I can get into the second debate. (little ghost heads pop out mouthing “Help me, Help me”.  If you want them I have to win the primary.

DVL: You are making a deal with ME?  OK sign this contract.

(warren leans over and signs it)

Biden: Whaaa, What about me? What about my contract?

DVL holds contract in hand : Sorry Joe Joe.  Deals off, I just got a better deal

(joe looks on in horror as contract goes up in flame)