Jaguar E-PACE Corsica

We traveled to the Italian Alps for a majestic drive on Ferrari’s brilliant new hot hatch, the 2022 PussoGrande.

Meeting with Vincenzo Anucci the dealer who had arranged for our test drive, I have to admit feeling a bit sweaty in the palms.

“so is it fast?” I asked?

“e veloce? il americano dormanda si e veloce!” Anucci burst out laughing and all the other italians around began to laugh and slap themselves on the backs.

“Eeesss a Ferrari, of course it’s VELOCE!” insisted a somewhat angry Anucci.

Thing is, this new car was for a … emerging NEW part of the market.  Designed to be easy to drive with a 12 speed automatic transmission, long gone are the gated shifters of the  past. Long gone too was the intense V8 growl, this naturally aspirated V4 delivered only 240 horsepower. Europe’s new stringent emission laws have hit every auto maker hard.

Next to it, and apparently only costing $30,000 euros more, was the brilliant Ferrari F8 Tributo with over 700 horse power.

“No No!” Anucci screamed, “This the car for you miss, you-UH cant-UH handle-UH the big boy”

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So we sauntered up the alps in a $300,000 euro honda civic esq experience.  And I have to say it did pretty good. But in the end, with 0-60Kmh in over eight seconds, this was certainly not the ferrari that spit fire and growled testicle grease.

We struggled to get up and over the pass. At one point we got passed by a Yugo.  But getting 12 miles to the liter, who really cared?

“Hows-Uh The Ride!” smiled Anucci as I easily got out of the wide SUV like stance of the machine from the future.

I sailed over as if to shake hands, then made a mad dash for the Tributo, keys in the ignition.

“NO NO we cannot afford de GAS No Non” screamed Anucci as I pealed out doing 0-60 in about 2.2 seconds and felt the skin on my face push back behind my ears.

“Keep the PussyGrande, I’ll be back in a few days!” I smiled as I goated up and over the pass hitting high air and slamming back down as a porsche driver stopped to stare in awe at the great beast. Damn Brusselians making good shit illegal. To heck with the new kinds of Customers. give me the beast car any day. The highway opened up and I eased the needle up to it’s top speed of 211 miles an hour. Oh the good old days.

As I flew back home worried about all things corona virus, I spied an article on the new fuel efficient 4 cylinder Ford Mustang:

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God damnit! Great that’s just great.

  •  Marie Finarelli is a race car driver from Torino and often can be found in the seat of her Hellcat or Ferrari 348

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