“I can’t get no Poon-TANG!” said Rufus Jones. He used to go cruising at the bars near closing and bring a slightly tipsy woman home. But no more with the corona. “Then I thought Heck, they ain human, but why not?” Soon Rufus had acquired THREE sex dolls. “Yah got muh Harem. But they don’t complain about each other!” he smiled.

One sex doll supplier says demand has shot up so much it is struggling to keep up.

The sex doll shop, an online store, has received triple the number of inquiries during the covid shutdown. “They ask about heads, about silicone vs. TPE. We get them into the right doll at the right price”

Special lockdown discounts are helping Americans put that extra unemployment money to good use. A doll costs from $1,500 (about the size of the Trump Check) all the way up to $20,000 for a delux model.

The dolls replace the entitled bitchy American woman. No STDs and no divorce rape either.

“Now this here I call Kizzie and she’s muh bottom bitch if ya know what I’m sayin!” No Rufus, we hope we don’t. Kizzie is a “Laura” doll, a high end gynoid style that costs almost five thousand. “Yah, she’s an investment, but cheaper than 20 dates and no mouthin back neithuh!”

And the positions are endless with a sex doll. Let’s see the regular American Hippo woman try this position! Yes sex doll, you’re here to stay.