PM: My god you’ve gained weight. Wait, that’s Amy Schumer. ow’s it going Ms Coney

ACB: Very good, I’m good

PM: So supreme court huh, what makes you qualified?

ACB: Well I have served on the apellate court for 3 years and I interned under justice Scalia

PM: No, not that crap, how many nergo chillin’ have you adopted. HOW BIG IS YOUR BLEEDing HEART YOU LIBERAL

ACB: Well 2 actually

PM: that’s great thats just , ah excuse me < PUUUUUUUUUUUUUKE > Ok back. that was rough. So why do you feel you need to save negros?

ACB: WEll it was the haiti earthquake and all the trendy rich people were adopting those cute little raggamuffins

PM: uhhh < PUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUKE> <PUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUKE> Ok ok I think I’ve got it out of my system, just don’t talk about touching them.

ACB: This is a strange interview, you’re with ABC News?

PM: Errr Patriot BC News. Look you’re a devout catholic. You’re a two lawyer household. Who raises the kids?

ACB: I think you should ask me about rowe vs. wade or how a struggling woman cracked the glass ceiling

PM: I think I should ask you why a haughty mom with seven children wears such short hemlines. Speaking of kids, you had a gnome baby didn’t you? Why didn’t you abort it? Don’t you believe in aborting?

ACB: they are our little love muffin. they are just special needs

PM: What about Dogma? They say you’ve got pope dogma? Do you answer to the Papa?

ACB: I am a catholic. My religious beliefs should not be a litmus test

PM: Yah, nor should it be a downy baby test… oh GOTCHYA!

PM: so how will you handle all these niggrus riotin and burning down our white cities? will you legislate from the bench?

ACB: They are just misunderstood, we need more money for education and healthy families, free healthcare.